Gaming and Resentment

Gaming in my terms is an alternate life but now I have triumphs and torments which now hinder my real life persona. Mario Kart: This game gets most of my competitive flare going, but as you advance (mostly online), it becomes more of a gamble with prowess. In some way, it gives me an intimidation of gamblling money. At some point, the racing games gives too much on the racer status which gives fear of the basic driving [the transition from drive to race]. I have many ideas for games but are hard to memorize them all in my head; so I wind up writing/drawing them out. However, these ideas feel more like remodified-edits than full projects. Yet, it's not worth much until shown to the rest of them(which caused most of my isolation).